loo-key-me-uh...

Sometimes seeing a something spelled

phonetically alters the meaning of the word.

We have made up our minds

what a word means based on our life experience,

what we have been taught, etc.

Sometimes we haven't even thought of what

the word meant before because

we hadn't heard it or it didn't have

a chance to enter our world yet.

Appendicitis

White Blood Cells

Cancer

CML

Perhaps you're not as familiar with the last

acronym, but CML is our new reality.

Last month my husband went to see

our doctor for a stomach ache.

Doctor referred him to a surgeon, who confirmed

the suspicion for appendicitis.

We check in to the hospital and within 6 hours

he is out of the operating room

appendix-less.

During those 6 hours, the standard tests

were run, as hospitals do on new patients.

Blood Pressure

Blood Tests

Temperature

All came back normal, except for the

white blood cell count during

the routine blood tests.

It wasn't just abnormal, 

it was startling to the doctors.

Words like: 

"highest EVER"

"never seen before"

"you should feel worse than this"

sent our heads on a spin wondering

W.T.F.

(ahem)

Hemotologist

Oncologist

Bone Marrow

Biopsy

All these words were so new to us

and becoming a part of our

everyday jargon.

I must say this:

never once were we in a panic,

a rush or in any extreme pain.

It has been like a lazy-river where the

Lord has been covering us with

peace, love and guidance

through each step of this 'reality'.

It felt like a dream...

so far out of our norm but so vivid

one of those dreams where you wake

and it takes time to differentiate

between sleep and awake.

Sleepless nights

Tears

Prayers

Love

The details are too many to express

but trust me when I say there

is no other explanation for the path that

we are on now other to say

THE LORD IS/WAS ALWAYS IN CONTROL.

We live in a fallen world.

The Lord can absolutely stop whatever

He wants to stop.

He allowed this, and allows for things to happen

because He loves us.

Seems counter intuitive?

How else can we know what love is

if there wasn't an opposite....

Think of it this way:

Time after time we warn our kids 

'be careful', 'you'll get hurt', 'watch out'...

and they do it again - sometimes we

allow for them to fall so they can learn themselves

what to do/what NOT to do.

We can swoop in, love on them, 

make them feel better

never once knowing they were 

in real danger anyway.

(does that even make sense?  is this thing on?  check, check 1-2...)

The Lord is loving and logical.

He is not mystical or magical.

He doesn't cast spells of 'cancer' because

He toys with people's lives.

He created us to love us.

He created us in His image.

He created us to be His light to the world!

I don't know the WHY behind many

of the Lord's WHATS.

I do know that no matter WHAT....HE IS LOVE.

He has shown us that SO vividly

through this process.

He has allowed for this

at this specific moment 

and we are praising Him for that.  

THIS moment in our lives.

And you know what?

We can handle it.

We are covered, surrounded, completely engulfed

with prayer, love and support.

It is unprecedented.

The Lord has placed the most amazing

people in our lives in EVERY avenue.

Friends

Family

Work

Play

  

We are currently experiencing on this Earth

only a fraction of what we know will be completely

overwhelming love in Heaven.

What an opportunity that not everyone has!

And if my husband had to get this CML

to experience this love...

then what a gift it truly is.

I'm not saying it is easy.

I'm not saying there aren't fears, or anger, or sorrow.

We are human.  We are adjusting.  We are adapting.

But the fear, anger and sorrow

is completely overshadowed by the

LOVE

SUPPORT

PRAYERS

PATIENCE

UNDERSTANDING

It is surreal, this new reality.

We are blessed the CML is

at the earliest possible detection.

We have fallen in love with

our City of Hope affiliated Oncologist.

We are confident the drugs

that have been very successful will

be successful for my husband.

We are hopeful, prayerful and overwhelmed.

We are not alone spiritually, physically or even mentally.

My husband and I are more in sync now

than ever in our marriage.

This story is still being written,

and there is such comfort knowing

we are co-authoring it with our Creator.

We are guaranteed a happy eternity.

(so much better than a "happy ending"...no?)

All images taken by the super talented Adrea Scheidler.

xoxo

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