Sometimes seeing a something spelled
phonetically alters the meaning of the word.
We have made up our minds
what a word means based on our life experience,
what we have been taught, etc.
Sometimes we haven't even thought of what
the word meant before because
we hadn't heard it or it didn't have
a chance to enter our world yet.
White Blood Cells
Perhaps you're not as familiar with the last
acronym, but CML is our new reality.
Last month my husband went to see
our doctor for a stomach ache.
Doctor referred him to a surgeon, who confirmed
the suspicion for appendicitis.
We check in to the hospital and within 6 hours
he is out of the operating room
During those 6 hours, the standard tests
were run, as hospitals do on new patients.
All came back normal, except for the
white blood cell count during
the routine blood tests.
It wasn't just abnormal,
it was startling to the doctors.
"never seen before"
"you should feel worse than this"
sent our heads on a spin wondering
All these words were so new to us
and becoming a part of our
I must say this:
never once were we in a panic,
a rush or in any extreme pain.
It has been like a lazy-river where the
Lord has been covering us with
peace, love and guidance
through each step of this 'reality'.
It felt like a dream...
so far out of our norm but so vivid
one of those dreams where you wake
and it takes time to differentiate
between sleep and awake.
The details are too many to express
but trust me when I say there
is no other explanation for the path that
we are on now other to say
THE LORD IS/WAS ALWAYS IN CONTROL.
We live in a fallen world.
The Lord can absolutely stop whatever
He wants to stop.
He allowed this, and allows for things to happen
because He loves us.
Seems counter intuitive?
How else can we know what love is
if there wasn't an opposite....
Think of it this way:
Time after time we warn our kids
'be careful', 'you'll get hurt', 'watch out'...
and they do it again - sometimes we
allow for them to fall so they can learn themselves
what to do/what NOT to do.
We can swoop in, love on them,
make them feel better
never once knowing they were
in real danger anyway.
(does that even make sense? is this thing on? check, check 1-2...)
The Lord is loving and logical.
He is not mystical or magical.
He doesn't cast spells of 'cancer' because
He toys with people's lives.
He created us to love us.
He created us in His image.
He created us to be His light to the world!
I don't know the WHY behind many
of the Lord's WHATS.
I do know that no matter WHAT....HE IS LOVE.
He has shown us that SO vividly
through this process.
He has allowed for this
at this specific moment
and we are praising Him for that.
THIS moment in our lives.
And you know what?
We can handle it.
We are covered, surrounded, completely engulfed
with prayer, love and support.
It is unprecedented.
The Lord has placed the most amazing
people in our lives in EVERY avenue.
We are currently experiencing on this Earth
only a fraction of what we know will be completely
overwhelming love in Heaven.
What an opportunity that not everyone has!
And if my husband had to get this CML
to experience this love...
then what a gift it truly is.
I'm not saying it is easy.
I'm not saying there aren't fears, or anger, or sorrow.
We are human. We are adjusting. We are adapting.
But the fear, anger and sorrow
is completely overshadowed by the
It is surreal, this new reality.
We are blessed the CML is
at the earliest possible detection.
We have fallen in love with
our City of Hope affiliated Oncologist.
We are confident the drugs
that have been very successful will
be successful for my husband.
We are hopeful, prayerful and overwhelmed.
We are not alone spiritually, physically or even mentally.
My husband and I are more in sync now
than ever in our marriage.
This story is still being written,
and there is such comfort knowing
we are co-authoring it with our Creator.
We are guaranteed a happy eternity.
(so much better than a "happy ending"...no?)
|All images taken by the super talented Adrea Scheidler.|